2018 Resolutions

I have a strategy.  By definition; nobody keeps a new years resolution.  Long ago I resolved to never make one again but I’m going to try something different.

Because a new years resolution can not be kept (it’s science), instead of resolving to do something for good, why not resolve to do something that you already do that’s bad?  It’s reverse psychology for stupid traditions.  We’re through the looking-glass here, people.

I resolve to:

  1. Leave my bikes hanging in the garage with rotting tires.
  2. Only lend my camping gear and never use it myself.
  3. Leave my wisdom teeth in forever, ignoring the pain.
  4. Never run again.
  5. Somehow sleep even less.

Now if all goes well, by mid-January all of these resolutions will fly out the window.  Don’t be a sucker and tell yourself that you’ll spend more time at the gym.

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