I read two great quotes recently.

“The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference.”

Elie Wiesel

Fantastic. I’ve written before about passive acceptance of injustice. This sums it up more eloquently than I ever could.

“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.”


I believe that there is a finite amount of anxiety a person can embody and that amount is different for everyone. When you are younger and have more energy, you can worry about more things. You can be more “active”, more concerned, more upset, and more functional. As one progresses through life stages, one needs to find priorities. A spouse, kids, full time job, mortgage all cost anxiety that must be taken from another place.

You can try to spread the anxiety thin but everyone needs to choose their own battles. It’s easier for me to see and respect the choices one makes as I’ve gone through these life stages myself.

Massive Reduction

I am going through nearly eleven years of blog posts and removing many, many images – especially those of my kids. I have an issue with keeping photos of other people who didn’t necessarily consent to me hosting them. The photos are not lost, but you will not be able to find them on this page.

It’s Over

Christmas 2018 is over. This will be the last one where we keep a half-tree on the kitchen table. Emily will be talking and won’t be as grabby.

One of the biggest toys was broken on arrival and I spent a good amount of time taking it apart to attempt to get it working. Poor craftsmanship made Emily sad but I believe I can fix it. We had many, many other toys with lots of little parts that are still strewn all over the house. The girls had a good time. Sarah got a bike that is way too small, a cool customized book, and a pile of other stuff.

Christmas was mostly good. Dinner was odd but good, the weather was beautiful. We expected rain mid-day but the clouds only threatened, never acted. It’s for the better. I hate pulling weeds.

I need to get my own bike tire fixed up. I think I need a replacement valve stem or possibly some rim tape. Going from hot summer to mild winter is a good fifty degree garage temperature swing so something contracted. It’s not a big deal, just irritating.

Erin and I will be working on something together that we’ll talk about in the future. We’re very glad the kids are getting to an easier age where we could find an underage babysitter to play with them for a few hours instead of worrying about someone who may or may not know CPR.

I’m tired. 2018 was an awful year. I got a huge part of my health figured out but the year took so much away. Not only from us, but from friends and families close to us. It’s been miserably expensive around every corner and when the expense isn’t money, it’s emotional destruction, exhaustion, or death. Things are hard. I wish we had family nearby to help. Who knows what the last five years would have been like if I could have just had some help on occasion when I needed it.

I have plans for next year. Things will be better even though, technically, they couldn’t have been much worse. The market is garbage right now but we’ve got a better hold on our finances. Family life is taking hold and the exhausting baby stage is nearly done. Arrogant parents will laugh and nod and say “wait until they’re older” which, sure, I get but I’d like to see them suddenly have a baby again. I know you forget how hard it is because we sure did. I dare you to try the life we have lived the last five years.

Thanks for all the gifts, both to me and to the family. I’ll be attempting some home made salsa next year and listening to some CDs that I’ve wanted for a long time.